Hot Chocolate & Evening Routines

This is by far one of my favorite Momma D stories to date. A classic from my high school years…

It was senior year of high school and I was dating the captain of the wrestling team. He would swing by after practice, hop in the shower and then we’d hang out for a bit in the late evening.

One fine weekday evening, Adam came over the house to continue with the aforementioned routine and it being a chilly winter night, I decided to make us some hot chocolate.

As an aside, my mother had a habit of getting up regardless of what was happening in the house around 11:30pm for a midnight piss. It just so happened to be 11:42pm. Back to you, Bob.

I’ve got two mugs out, and the packets of hot chocolate powder & hot water have been poured in respectively. I pick up one of the mugs and lean against the kitchen counter while I begin to stir said cup of hot beverage.

I hear the bedroom door open.

I hear sloppy, sleepy, swishy footsteps.

I freeze.

The bathroom door opens. She sits down on the can and begins to talk…

“So I was thinking, this weekend we could go hit the outlets and – oh, that woman at work was terrible! I can’t get over what she said…”

My mother continues to talk to who she thinks is me in the shower. After a good two minutes of banter she realizes she’s not getting any response. A long pause occurs. “You’re not Stacey are you…”

Adam’s deep voice perks up casually from behind the shower curtain, “Uh, nope… It’s Adam.”

She starts laughing hysterically and to both mine and Adam’s dismay – finishes peeing!! Still frozen but continuing to stir the hot chocolate, I hear the bathroom door open again and see her walk down the hall to go back to bed like nothing ever happened.

I just can’t make this stuff up.